AdvanceMinistries.com

A dress

A dress, made out of a purple, shiny, beautiful piece of cloth
Fitting exactly right, like being specially made for me
A gift, out of the hand of the Father
As to the prodigal son, the ring and the robe
Anointing and authority, will be given to me
And even more, being His child, the apple of His eye
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
And forever, His eye will be resting, on me
Like Jesus to His bride, He says: beauty is what I see

02-04-07

A coat

One Sunday morning
The service came to an end
The offering collected, the blessing given
All in order the way it went

The moment of prayer seemed gone
And yet I asked: Lord, please grant me safety
Feeling locked up, a covering because of fear
Even afraid, to let God's love enter me

By grace, I received prayer
Inviting the Holy Spirit to flow through me
As He was showing how Jesus loved the rich youngster
Who failed to be the perfect one; just like me

As a little child, in a shop, with mother and a shop-girl
And two coats to choose between
I just couldn't make a decision

Outlook

Looking over the hills of Pennsylvania
All around, I see above me, the blue sky
Soft colours, farmhouses, horses and cows
And sometimes clouds, which are passing by

How wide is this landscape
Peaceful, the environment, to me
But it was the touch of the Holy Spirit
That brought rest on the inside of me

Praise to God, who all this has created
Who said it was awesome, that I was born
Making the latter better than the first
Renewing the places in which my soul was torn

27-09-06

Fear

Fear, you can't see it
You can't grab it, but it is there
Entering a room, filled with people
Something that is hard to dare

Fear pops up at various places
Even sitting in a special lazy chair
Called up tension, extreme unsavety
Having no control, sitting overthere

Father God, I need Your help to break this barrier
Need Your love, to chase this fear
Your guidance to walk in freedom
Only Your voice to hear

17-09-06

Future

Future, a word that should give hope and joy
To me, it seemed the other way around
School, work or even marriage
To relax, and enjoy life, was not to be found

Never achieving the goal of doing well
Always something missing, never good enough
Became like a negative perfectionism
I won't try anything anymore, it's too tough

On a conference, one brief moment, fear was gone
Only the presence of God the Father
Hope was born, a possibility to change was there
But events got only harder

God led me to another church
Fulfilling a wish from the past
To learn a spirit guided walk

Paradise

The sun is setting
Its light plays with the leaves
Between trees, there's a little pool
A deer is drinking, so quietly it breathes
For a sheer moment, paradise seems near
The singing of birds
The beauty of flowers
Green all around me
Above the sun, heaven appears

14-9-06

There

Surrounded, by friends
Enjoying their courtesy and respectfulness
Their willingness to listen
The love, with which they share

The image of hands held together
When saying thanks for the daily meal
It speaks of safety, belonging to
Part, of the Father's care

To see a father hug his girls
For they are special, in his eyes
It opens for a lot of tears
Forming the question: my place, is where?

When, shall be revealed, how to feel
The love of the Father for me
Or does He tell me how to look
Changing my eyes to see it's there

17-09-06

To be

I noticed some movements, in a tree
A soft rain was falling
Two squirrels were looking for food
And joyfully playing

It was fun, to see these creatures moving
The way they were made
And the Spirit spoke: be free to be
As you were created

There's no to slow, to silent or to different
Just be the one the Father made you to be
Knowing His heart that says:
You'll always be a daughter to Me

15-09-06

A new joy in the morning

There was a burden of negative,
Thoughts, feelings
I just couldn't get it of

My cry was:Lord, help me
I feel powerless in this
I need your hand right now

One day, early, during worship they sang:
It's a new joy in the morning
And it ministered to my heart

As in the day of harvest, joy came
God reached out for me
Negative just fled

21-08-06

Holiday

When I was young
Holiday had the sense of freedom
Swimming alone in the blue of the sea
Observing, a world of my own, without God

Later, holiday became, what someone else told it to be
It was alright, to pass the time
To solve the question was still too hard:
What would be a holiday for me?

A divorce changed my life
Wondering if I would ever live again
Adjusting, feeling the pressure to provide
Working, no time to stop, and always those thoughts

Father God took hold of me
Changed negative to joy, the question was answered
Making that choice felt like living again

Abnormal

Abnormal; in my own eyes
Abnormal; in the eyes of the world
Abnormal; in the eyes of my mother
But never, abnormal, in the eyes of Father God

For He created me in His own image
Sanctified me through Jesus His Son
Sees me dressed in righteousness
Says My thoughts over you are full of hope

Hidden behind abnormal are thoughts of despair
I'll never succeed in behaving normal
I'll never be good enough for anything
And God says: stop those thoughts, to Me praises you'll sing

Neither normal nor abnormal matters
In the sight of spending eternity in the kingdom of God

The white road

In a dream, I walked carrying a baby
Following a white road
That led to Lego Land

I was welcomed by the master rock
But a group of people told me to go on tour
Following a down hill path of sand

Distracted by cares, for the children and possessions
Drew me to the other side of the road
There too was a path of sand

I lost focus, where was I to go?
So many thoughts, here the dream stopped
I didn't know it anymore

In prayer, Jesus the Master rock welcomed me
Saying: keep your eyes on Me
And enter the Promised Land

Be a living stone
Walk along the great white road which is My word

Battle

In my life, there was a battle
And everytime, I saw defeat
For sure, by prayer, that army diminished
But I kept loosing, my God: I have a need

Time passed, no answer seemed to come
I couldn't win it by myself; maybe it was not so wrong
Making effort in this battle grew less and less
But my body is His temple, to God I belong

I lost once again and was angry at myself
God said: speak up, and make visible your fight
To my great relief a meeting was arranged
We talked and prayed and it came in God's Light

Like David, I am not powerless in living life
Against the intimidation of goliath I can take a stand

The curse

Adam and Eve came under the curse, for they had sinned against the Lord through whom all life began
He had to work hard and sweat, thorns and thistles would hinder him
Eve would labor at birth with effort and pain
All because she had talked back to the deceiver of man

In my mind lives a stronghold that says real work is hard
It can never be fun, its part of the grey dark buildings
After every school I went a new building, dark and serious looked ahead
After my wedding, no difference, there was no good building connected to the heart

Jesus went to the cross and hang there for you and me

Holy Spirit

Deep inside of me, lived this fear
That I could never pass the divine exam
Being unsure, uncertain, with a lot of questions
Just not knowing who I am

Christmas

Christmas, a time for decoration
Making a balance in colour in a tree
Ivy and pineapples, big and small
Placing little lights for inspiration

And yet, it seemed so common
There was emptiness, in every preparation
Greeting and eating, like the years before
It changed, with a simple question

Could you pray for me?
And we held hands, united in Jesus name
Praying for blessing and guidance
This, was what Christmas should be

God with us, Immanuel
His presence in our midst, not just a name
Changing our lives, filling our hearts
Being together, with Him, felt well

More glory

God, is an awesome God
And I asked to see
More of His love, more glory

A situation appeared
And my soul found no rest
Powerless, somewhat depressed

Calling was too hard
There was an urge to step out in trust
The Spirit said: it is better, not: you must

God favoured me
And there was time to talk and pray
Fear for emotion made my mind fleeing away

We stood together
They prayed for I had no voice
I was not alone, it was a good choice

An image of little birds appeared
In a chelter, feeding, chatting and playing
And it was, like God was saying:

Just as I care for these birds

Gratitude

An attitude of gratitude
Is like an apple a day
It keeps the mind sane
Giving no room for evil thoughts to play

Our God is a good God
The Father with a plan, there's no doubt in my belief
But my heart doesn't follow that fast
Just how can I, this joy of the Lord, achieve?

Which thoughts are running deep inside of me?
Insecurity, no place for me and can do nothing right
You are my beloved daughter in whom I am well pleased
Those words should shine their Light

Every one has a language of love
Receiving a hug from a trusted one is likely to be mine
But also being listened to in a peaceful place

Darkness

Joseph was seduced, and ran away
I grew in walking in the Spirit
I was free, more and more
And then again, I failed one day

Why?I did so well
And yet that piece of darkness
That hidden feeling inside of me
Through something I saw I fell

Father God, I need your help once more
Set me free, by Jesus blood
Let the fruit of your Spirit grow
I don't want darkness, it's You I adore

What is wisdom, how to fight
Should I talk, or only pray
Resist the evil spirit in Jesus name
Lord, I want to walk in Your Light

23-11-05

A horse

God showed me a horse
Big and strong, like a shire
With heavy feet and a muscled neck
A beauty in its kind
And God stroke it and said:
It did well, pulling away heavy weights
Because of which the breakthrough will be seen
That I desire

Maybe you're not like an Arab
A thoroughbred with tiny feet
Swift like the wind, moving fast
Like a dancing butterfly
But you're faithful, steadfast, with endurance
To resist the burden you meet

I thank you, for all that you have done
It was a pleasure to my heart
And as I strike the shire
I show you My reward
You are blessed to be a blessing

Let there be

God said: let there be light
And light was there
He made man and wife
The origin of human life

In His word is the power to create
Where the enemy can only destroy and debate
Great is the God of heaven and earth
No silver, gold or diamond has greater worth

There's singing in heaven by all that has a voice
Let's sing on earth, make music let us rejoice
No man can buy or achieve
The way to heaven is by believe

For Jesus gave His life on the cross at Calvary
By His grace we are redeemed, we are free

17-11-05

Labourers

Ten lepers came to Jesus
He generously healed them all
Only one, came back to thank Him
The reward of this world is small

But he who generously sows
Will generously reap with blessings
Lord, send the labourers
Awake those, who are asleep

When I pray in faith, Lord sends someone
Will my heart be prepared?
To listen when My Lord speaks
My beloved child, you are the one

30-10-05

Eyes to see

The two blind men, loved to talk
They heard about Jesus
And said: let's take a walk

In the natural their eyes were blind
But they didn't lack faith
They saw, with Jesus: healing we will find

He said: be healed, according to your faith
But don't tell the world
Seeing, they couldn't be silent like the grave

They talked, talked and spread the good news
The image of Jesus still in their eyes
Take faith in Him, it's not just for the happy few

30-10-05
math. 9:27

Grace again

I wanted to write from out of my heart.
Looking at this wonder, that Jesus died for me.
I wanted to feel for a start.
Warmth and joy because He set me free.

I stumbled, and fell to the floor.
Feeling awful, God what I don't want I do.
I need your mercy to forgive once more.
Get me up; I only have my life to give to You.

And I looked at Jesus in my mind.
He knew how weak I could be.
I saw His face, no longer like mankind.
He gave His life, out of love for me.

He said: run like Joseph, don't stumble again.
Even when I succeed, I still live by His grace.

The talk

I talk to you, you talk to me
Not a cloud in the sky
Nothing troubling me

We talked about the mess in which I live
How God would look at it I never asked
The eyes from the past are there, with condemnation to give

A nasty habit being messy, but Jesus would still enter
Bringing peace, the knowledge that God is in control
In everything, He has to be the centre

I miss love, it's something I can't feel
It doesn't appeal to live in a tidy house
He said: we'll pray that God himself will make his love reveal

Later on, the words love and peace with tears were there again

The little child

In my mind, God took me to a large garden.
At a new home, with a swing as big as is enough for me.
Green grass, trees and lots of flowers.
Sit down, He said, and feel free.

I'm right behind you; I catch you when you fall.
Enjoy the movement, the wind in your hair.
Don't worry, don't think, and don't look around.
No need for fear, I will be there.

Live by faith, like a little child.
And even though the image I saw isn't real.
God is there, He is alive.
And also with a hug from a trusted one, this child does feel.

19-10-05

Grace

It was mercy, when the Holy Spirit convinced me to make a choice.
I didn't deserve it, that Jesus took the sentence for my sins.
That He enabled me, to become a daughter of the Father.
He is the Good Shepherd, I had to learn to listen to His voice.

I needn't worry, by grace He would care for me.
Giving a home to live in and clothes to wear.
The food I need and even a car.
All by grace, every day I live, for free.

I learned to acknowledge my weaknessess, face them one by one.
My fears and pains, I had to surrender myself to Him.
Giving up proud ness and being defensive to any advice.

Something underneath

It's just one of those days
When communication doesn't function
Emotions boiling underneath
My eyes keep watching, fragments of thoughts run on and on

Group evening, people enough, but the ability to fellowship locked of
Yes, God gave a lot of healing, changes along these two years
But I still don't know what to long for, to be happy like anyone else
I feel abandoned, I'll just wait what God will give, what one day appears

I asked for painful feelings to emerge, but now I don't know what to do
Is it a remembrance from when I was nine? My sister blond and pretty

Daylight

This morning, in my prayer time, I heard myself boldly pray:
God, if there are still pictures with hidden pain, inside my mind
Bring them forth, reveal, for I need healing from you
I don't know, what's still left, nor allready done, Lord make a way

Hours passed, and the home group came together again
We talked about friendship and divorce
Shared stories, no problem in talking, together as friends
Until something awakened a picture, from just before the real divorce began

And I looked at myself,standing in the kitchen, late at night, darkness ahead of me
Words cannot describe, the amount of loneliness and pain

Lord I'm desperate for You

In Toronto, some words I heard
And at first I didn't comprehend
Those people are so holy, and extremely dedicated
Lord, I'm desperate for You, my mind was disturbed

And I thought it over, many times
The big mess in my marriage
The silence I was caught in all my life
Lord, I'm desperate for You, such simple lines

I live in this world, born in sin
I can never be righteous enough
So many wrestling's inside of me
Lord, I'm desperate for You, came from within

They're not just nice words with a melody
They should be the cry from a broken heart
That's where God wants to dwell

Freedom

When I was a little child, I walked wherever I wanted to go
Enjoying the grass, the butterflies and the free blue sky
Cycling my bicycle, in balance on a swing
The sun was shining, only the way to speak up I didn't know

The first schoolyears spoke of darkness laying ahead
Captivated, no shiny future
A dark building glanced into my eye
No freedom to move around, silence ruled instead

From school to school, that picture stayed the same
You have to do what you're supposed to do
Everybody has to, complaining has no use
School changed to working, what's in a name

A sigh

We clean the windows
We maw the lawn
We sleep next to each other
Until the dawn

Normal routine
Everything set and done
But talking with intimicy
We do none

Is there a possibility to change
Is there a way out somehow
Could it be arranged
Is there anyone to help us now

Broken trust is heavy to wear
Honest feelings are the hardest to share
Once again there is that sigh
Father in heaven pleace stay nigh
Restore the pieces and make anew
This marriage we once dedicated to You

early 2000

Together

Once so good, in love united
Together forever
Even in eternity, through Jesus Christ

Then, after some time
A wondering began
Where is he?
Where is my beloved, one and only man

Dark pages filled our marriage
A great silence stood big and tall
Doing the things that had to be done
Living with masks, nothing was wrong at all

Going together, with worlds drift apart
Is there a way, to be again one of heart?
Or is all effort just in vain
Leaving shattered parts of hurt and pain

God finishes the work He starts
His power is big enough to heal our broken hearts

The Spider

Amidst the sound of silence
The spider makes its web
Creates it line by line
Thoughtful by every step
To enjoy his Lord this spider was formed
Created lovingly within mighty hands
Now see the beauty of the rag
Dressed with waterdrops at dawn
We too are formed with love
Given a personality simular to His own
A fee will to laugh and labour
To be a jewel in His crown

15-01-90

A belly

Stand upright, for your belly shows
You should weigh less, for your belly shows
You can cover up, but your belly shows
And I can't look at myself because my belly shows

When I look into the mirror, I don't see me
What I see disgusts, it's no good
To much weight, for sure
And above all I see: A BELLY

It clouds my thinking, there is always a belly
Mirrors are mean, windows too
To buy clothes is like punishment
Looking in the mirror, all is bad, because of that belly

God came in, through Jesus Christ His Son
Saying: you're not belly but Belle
Precious, worthy to be the daughter of a King